Dear Cats,
I understand that you think that you are very mistreated. I mean, you could live with the meager scratching posts (three), cat trees (two), beds (six), and other toys (8 million) with moderate complaining, but the food situation? Ack! What cruel twist of fate stuck you with a mom who refuses to allow you to each weigh 35#, thus denying you the joys of diabetes and arthritis? Much less the joy of living in a cardboard box, because spending $24,000 a year on cat food would leave little for the frivolous things like a home or electricity!
Cats, while I realize this is hard for you, this living off 3/4 cup of dry food, 1/2 can of wet food and treats every day, you are going to have to suck it up. I don't care how hungry you still are, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, gives you the right to steal my chocolate chip cookies off the counter while I am in the bathroom.
Love always,
Your harried mom
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